Conflict in clubs and organizations can be the big “Ouch”. It hurts, it’s not fun. But, it happens for lots of reasons. When it happens, you have to be ready to deal with it. During my 30+ years of experience as a student leader, advisor, and speaker, I have 5 concepts that I share and put into practice to deal with conflict resolution.
Since the material is a little too long for one post, I have split it into two parts. Now, here is part 2 (with the first 3 concepts listed in brief). Enjoy and share!
Dave’s 5 Concepts of Conflict Resolution:
- “If you have a problem with someone and do not take it to them, then it can’t be very significant.”
- “Deal with conflict one on one: praise in public, criticize in private.”
- “Use the 3 C method: compliment, criticize, compliment.”
- “Separate the person from the position.” Who you are is not what you do. You may be a great member and get elected to a leadership position. Maybe you are very popular and everyone thinks that would make a good club president. Or maybe you missed the meeting when you got voted into something and decided to go ahead and give it your best.And maybe you found out that you were in over your head and not cut out for this role. Perhaps you have such a heavy academic load that you cannot devote the time necessary to successfully fulfill the duties of the position. You might have family stuff happening or work that gets in the way. This does not mean you are not a good person or a bad member. Perceptions, however, sometimes turn into realities and others may look unfavorably upon you because of your performance in a leadership role. Is that fair? No. But, we sometimes do this when we see other people in this circumstance. Work with people in order to help them be better in their positions and, if they still don’t get it, give them an opportunity to either ask for a second person to work with them, like an assistant secretary, or even step away from the role.
Separate the person from the position so you can keep them as a member and as a friend. The next concept pairs with this in helping them have a graceful way out…
- “Address the situation by asking a direct question.” During my first year as the District Administrator of Georgia Circle K, we had a member of our district board who not fulfilling his role as Lt. Governor. The governor needed to either get him back on track or have him resign so that someone else could be put in the position. I suggested she meet with him and lay out all of his responsibilities that had been covered during training and explain that he needed to do them. She offered to work with him to come up with a plan for doing so.During the meeting, she gave him the list of duties and asked if he thought he could fulfill them all. He pointed out three or four of them that he liked and felt he could do, but there were five or six that he didn’t want to do or didn’t feel he could complete successfully. She calmly told him that he was required to do all of them and if he couldn’t, then they needed to come up with a resolution to the situation. She asked, “Given that these are the requirements, do you want to continue as Lt. Governor?” After thinking for a few moments he said, “If I have to do all of these things, then I don’t think I want to stay in the position.” He resigned and our governor appointed a new person in his place who did a great job finishing out the term. No fuss, no muss. She addressed the situation with a direct question and he resigned in a way that was respectful and allowed him to continue as a member of the organization without embarrassment.
Conflict does not have to hurt. If serving leaders work at it, they can come up with solutions that work for everyone!
Is this the kind of content and training you would like for your students? I would love to bring it to your campus! Click on the program link here to check it out and then email me at DaveKelly@GonzoSpeaks.com or call me at 770-552-6592 to discuss a date for me to come to your school. Booking me will not break the bank – check out my Affordable Pricing Model for a quote! I look forward to serving your students!
I look forward to serving your students!